Thoughts mean nothing

I replay and replay the song again and again, allowing the memories to flood back to me Why do I force myself to endure the pain and agonies of memories of 2010 October for example, when the scent of sweat, chlorine and deodorant are blindingly obvious. My chins wobble and I cry. Cry over 10 out of 20. When the song plays in the gym I sing along softly. I listen to hear any sniggering from the extreme fit woman on the bike. Nothing. Must be their off-day today. ( the script, for the firt time). (nicki minaj - save me) My sister sings along to it, and my tightly pulled back hair is agonizing on my scalp. This song causes many memories and always reminds me of one thing- stress. The stress of being best, being the model child at home, school and extra mural activities. (Adele - chasing pavements) Adele is right. Should she keep on or just keep on chasing pavements? This reminds me of the terrible 2011, still the vulnerable fat girl, everyone's punch bag - in a verbal way. (nicki minaj - Marilyn munroe ) "we all make mistakes". This sentence has such a grip on me it's scary. Just like everything. I get hooked on everything these days. Welcome to my life. Sorry for the tear stained confessions. Hannah

Story to 200!!!

"I need this relationship . I need you."
"Really?" He'd told me this a thousand times. His voice was repeating in my mind.
"Yes, really." He looked in my eyes with his turquoise ones. I felt my heart melt.
"Then why....why..." I turned away from him, as my eyes flooded with salty tears. I couldn't bring myself to say those words- cheat.
"Oh, for goodness sake's woman! You cry all the time! Man up!" His harsh words slapped my self-esteem and I had to choke back more tears.
He slapped his head and ran to the bedroom, shoving his clothes into a suitcase. I lingered in the doorway, unsure of what to do.
"I'm out," he said, slamming me into the doorway. As I heard the door slam I sunk down and sobbed.
My life was over on my 25th birthday.

Guys, please help me. I need 200 viewers and then I'll post a video blog. I need all your help in advertising.


Thanks, Hannah

Heya!

Sorry guys, don't worry, I haven't abandoned you guys. Life has just been REALLY REALLY REALLY
REALLY REALLY REALLY busy.

And my moment of free time is used on my blackberry.


Right now I feel like having a breakdown.

Now why, you may ask, a twelve year old is  having  breakdown?


Because simply, when you're me, you try to multi task. You put so much pressure on yourself.

Finally!

I HAVE COMPLETED A WHEN/IF!!

I got a Blackberry!

Na-na-na-na-naa! I have a Blackberry! Tralala-a!

Well, maybe you have one yourself (highly likely) than you can
happy dance with me!!!

PIN: Not tellin' you! Other wise I'll get all these strange stalker freaks.

So far my feelings for this week....I'm not sure. I'm having a taste of teenage hood with mood swings.
Groan...This is going to be a long 8 years....


Not enough time to say anything else.
My life's been boring, how about yours?
Comment!
Hannah

Groan. It's Monday.

Blah.  Yay!
It's the worst  best day of the week. !
 Stupid Happy Monday!
How was your Monday?
Mine was a real surprise!

TERRIBLE.
 
Now isn't that such a surprise?

Here's part of my latest chapter.
"Chapter 13- Be my escape

I can't believe it.

I'm watching my sister's memorial service, and I realise how much I miss her. Her smile, her laugh, just her. But now she's gone. Dad is speaking gravely into the microphone. Lindsee looks pale, Leo has lost weight, Lynn is staring at the ribbons and flowers on Wil and my old chairs like it's the most interesting thing in the world.

Written on the projected screen is :

Charlotta and Wilma

1998- 2012 1998- 2010

You will be missed

I want to laugh, but my eyes are stuck on the screen. Somehow the two connect and my mouth opens and closes like a goldfish.

"It was two years ago that we lost one of our twin girls to cancer. They were Leah's fourth pregnancy." His carrot head made everything about him seem slightly comical.

"Charlie was my little girl. When I had I fight, she was there. She was amazing, an amazing child...." His eyes filled with tears and he stepped off the podium.

Mum nodded at him and stepped onto the podium. She's stifling a smile. She knows that I'm alive. She's enjoying this. She's dressed in a tight polka-dot silk shirt that outlines her muffin top. Her navy blue skirt is tight on her hips and she quells another smile. Professionally she changed her face to a somber expression. "I can't even imagine life without my girls. They are so important to me..." Distractedly ,as a servant handed me a sandwich, my teeth clamped over it, letting the nutrients sink in into my mouth and down, down into my growing stomach. I had been comfort eating. I glanced at Lindsee. She was wearing a black maternity dress, only giving us a sneak- peak of he baby bump. He hat was tilted and her face went very red for a second. Then her face went pale. She gave Leo (in too tight morning dress- totally un-suitable) a little kiss and a whisper in his ear. He got up and picked her up. He took her to the limo. The camera focused on them. The commentator's voice was exactly like he was talking for a tennis match. "And that's Diana, known as Lindsee, with her boyfriend Leo..."

A shot of realization shimmied down my spine. She was in labour!

You like?

Then tell me!

Mwah, Hannah

................

Right now I'm listening to my dog licking herself, my mom telling my sister about Hitler, and my head
buzzing.
I am a writer.
Ok, that was just stating the obvious. But to be honest with you, today I feel
happy and ready for the half-week ahead of me.
I feel ready to zoom ahead of everyone in the gala on Friday and be waving at them from the
end of the pool. (Unlikely).
I feel like I'm in the driver's seat for once.
Even though dad's/ Sims computer MELTED, I feel at peace. Zen, as I said in a few other posts.
I feel like I'm going to actually accomplish something in life.
To be honest, I feel like a movie star
                                                     ~Pic of the Week~

Ok, this is pretty funny.

A day in the life of....

I've read this on many blogs, so I decided to do this as well. (This will be the only post for the week)

~A day in the life of me~

As I wake up, mom has to put the timer on for me to get dressed. Otherwise I'll

relax on my bed reading a book, half dressed. Then usually I get dressed, wander around the
kitchen, and take some cereal. I'll slowly chomp it, probably daydream a little, until mom
breaks me into  the usual fast paced mornings. Then we dash of to school, Chloe ignoring all
conversation, her earphones shoved in her ears.
Yesterday we got our Cycle Tests back.
I was a tiny bit  worried at first. I felt a tiny pang of anticipation.
No. Think Zen.
Think calm.
So some how, I manage to nonchalantly carry on staring in my desk. Then ma'am calls me up.
The first mark I see, well, it's bad, for an A student.  I  draw in a sharp  breath. I thought I had done
so well!
Suck it up, cupcake! I thought.
But no, ma'am was pointing at a different paper.
I'll not tell you my mark.
Ok, well, it was good.
I will tell you I got full marks for the story section! :)
Got to go.
Being Zen,
Hannah

No comment :/

Some people are so sweet.
Like this, for example.
Janazza

OMGB Oh My Gummy Bears!!! your eyes are beautiful. I so wish my eyes were that color of brown like yours !
This was on project inspired. It was a picture of me without make up.
I've noticed Iv'e been  moody after the last few posts. Bear with me. I'm a teenager. So today
It's only going to be good things I say.
1. All Sims 3 babies are beautiful-like in that picture
2. My blog only has 2 members- but 60 views
3. I'm obsessed about weddings- and dream of being a wedding planner
4. I'm writing 3 books at the same time: Green Bee, Drought and Wedding Planner
5. I want to have 2 boys in my early to mid twenties- Chase and Matthew- and then a girl- Bella- in my  early thirties
6. I love my school
7. I love my doggy Rose so much I wish she was my real child.
8. I love my family so much
9. I hate llamas
10. I love my Grandad and Gran so much- even with some technical difficulties on his computer!
11. I hope that someone will actually comment on this post
Hannah
Oh, and please excuse the random number.

7.

Changing room and The Browns

I hate us girls all changing together. They always have their catty whispers at me, or at other large girls. So all I do is shove on my shirt with my head held high, not caring if I'm a size 8 or a 4 (for you Americans, a 4 is a zero.) Right now my only friends is this blog and TLC. My FAVOURITE show is Sister Wives. Who cares if some people don't like it? They carry on with their lives, and THAT'S what I find right with this, bubbling, busy family. They're all so close to each other. It doesn't matter what I believe in, they seem to be happy and that's what matters. Here are a few demotional and shocking things:

I have never shaved, even seen, a llama.

I will never have a boyfriend and end up being a warty toothless nun.

I'm talking, and no-one's listening.

Project Inspired- Let it inspire you, too!

Ok, I was a bit sceptical at first. I mean, where do you really find an ex- supermodel not trying to scam you? But that's before Project Inspired. I now see that Nicole, is not a con woman but in fact someone who loves God. This website has really inspired me, and helped me on my journey. I hope you all are inspired too.

http://www.projectinspired.com/

Look out for beyourself. I'm commonly commenting on posts and in Girl Talk!

Be inspired,

Hannah.

What did I expect?

I can't stop posting even though no-ones listening.

Oh well.

We went to Church today.

I alter served. Nothing new.

I still find myself pushing Him away. Why am I doing this?

Am I still one of His children?

I recently read a blog of someones. They said, and I quote: "The Bible was probably made up by someone and made segments of it called "Matthew, Luke, John ect." It may be a hoax, and sorry to break it to you, probably is"

If you're an atheist, look away.

Stupid cow.

You may look here again.

And now, here I am, on the world's most uncomfortable couch, my wrist in agony (cut it with a toenail) and the smell of brownies drifting though the air, as well as my sweat mixed together. Not so pleasant.

Suddenly my mom bursts through, shouting , "Hannah! Hannah!" at the top of her voice, like I couldn't hear her. In a sulky teenager (typical) way, I waited after 3 calls until replying, "Coming!"

I wondered into the kitchen, and sat myself down at the breakfast nook.

It took a bite out the brownie.

Ok, this is pretty good.

Ah, yet again hormones. That willed me to keep my mouth shut and just shovel that rich brownie and that creamy chocolate sauce in by the dozen.

I'm still busy looking for the purity ring.

Hey guys, If you've got one to sell (hopefully only because you are now married!) comment <3

Remember to always shave your llama,

Hannah.

That's me. Hannah Amy Mitchell, 12 -going on 13. I sometimes wish my name was something stylish, like my sister Chloe's. She was lucky, she got the nice middle name as well. Ashley. I'm a bit excited to go back to school. Get off Facebook, pull myself off the couch and get some life into me. Maybe finish this chapter in my book.

I've been taking a break right now, because I don't- ok, well, I'm lazy. Especially during the holidays.

To change the subject, I'm looking for a purity ring. I just want to put my promise in black and white.

Oh well. Enjoy life.

Hannah.

Welcome To The Jungle

Welcome to my life, welcome to the knots of my life. Not as knotty as my hair, though. Bushy and crazy. But I'm not here to talk about my hair. I'm here to talk about my life.