Thoughts mean nothing

I replay and replay the song again and again, allowing the memories to flood back to me Why do I force myself to endure the pain and agonies of memories of 2010 October for example, when the scent of sweat, chlorine and deodorant are blindingly obvious. My chins wobble and I cry. Cry over 10 out of 20. When the song plays in the gym I sing along softly. I listen to hear any sniggering from the extreme fit woman on the bike. Nothing. Must be their off-day today. ( the script, for the firt time). (nicki minaj - save me) My sister sings along to it, and my tightly pulled back hair is agonizing on my scalp. This song causes many memories and always reminds me of one thing- stress. The stress of being best, being the model child at home, school and extra mural activities. (Adele - chasing pavements) Adele is right. Should she keep on or just keep on chasing pavements? This reminds me of the terrible 2011, still the vulnerable fat girl, everyone's punch bag - in a verbal way. (nicki minaj - Marilyn munroe ) "we all make mistakes". This sentence has such a grip on me it's scary. Just like everything. I get hooked on everything these days. Welcome to my life. Sorry for the tear stained confessions. Hannah